This Fan is Done

I was reading through reviews of FFXIII-2. Yes. I know. As I was reading through it, I began to wonder why I was reading it when I couldn't even stomach finishing FFXIII. Just to give you a better perspective, I am a girl who finished Dante's Inferno despite hating it just because I won't let the game beat me.

I'd like to believe I'm made of sturdier stuff. I can finish 'bad games' just for the sake of finishing them but... I honestly wasn't able to finish FFXIII. I guess more than an infuriating game, what I can't stand is a boring one.

I'm done

But this post isn't about boarding the hate train, it's already packed anyways so I'd save you the trouble of arguing with me.

Back to the point. I read through a lot of reviews and as expected, it was both liked and hated by reviewers. "It's good but..." and "It's bad but..." all in all leading to the conclusion that it's "good enough". The game has always managed to split the fanbase into two opposing factions.

I also read through a plethora of comments and after the 50th comment, I began wondering why I was even reading through the comments, all of which are predictable and only solidifies my apprehension about the game.

Then I realized, I was desperately seeking validation.

I realized that... I still want Final Fantasy to succeed. Despite swearing off the series with FFXIII, part of me was still hoping for an amazing gaming experience associated with the title.

Deep down I still love Final Fantasy. That's why it hurts. That's why, like a woman hung up on her ex-boyfriend, I look at my ex-boyfriend's profile and see how much he has changed and how happy he is with his new life without me and I look and I see and I become miserable. But I do it because I still love him. That's my love affair with Final Fantasy right there.

I read all these reviews on FFXIII-2 and I see how much it has changed. It hurts me to see that but I look at it anyway because I guess I still hope that somewhere in there is a hint that the game still loves me.

Sounds stupid, I know. Look at this Nicole, relating a game to a love affair. What a loser.

But I guess I'm not alone in this, am I? How many fanboys did you see rant about the good old days of Final Fantasy? Count the number of comments that mention how much the franchise changed their world and their perspective. How much the narrative moved them to tears. We developed this relationship with the franchise  and I think we're in denial that the game has moved on. The reason why it doesn't appeal to me anymore is because it's not for me anymore.

After reading through all the damn comments, fanboys fighting some sort of civil war with each other, one line struck me: Never again, Square Enix.

It would take some getting used to. After all, how long did it take for you to get over a past love? It will take long for me to stop hoping that Final Fantasy is still the Final Fantasy in my head. It's an unfair expectation anyway and the game doesn't owe me anything (except maybe the love I had for it back then, the loyalty and the money spent on it) The game has new lovers now and that's fine.

People say, "You don't like the game? Don't play it!"

We say, "We play it because it's Final Fantasy. And Final Fantasy is a thing that you play."

Maybe not anymore. 

Posted in: fangirl,final fantasy,final fantasy xiii,final fantasy xiii-2,square enix